What to Say to a Girl Before You Kiss Her

Kissing Tips Made Easy

Gentlemen, if you are asking the question, "How do I get a girl to kiss me?" and you want the perfect answer, you've come to the right place. To guys who already know the answer to this question, the answers are obvious. To those guys who have no clue, they will seem like secrets that are worth their weight in gold. Here's the key:

You don't make a girl kiss you.

Girls do not do the kissing. Men do the kissing. Women, girls, and ladies get kissed. If you don't understand exactly what I'm saying here, then it's no wonder you are asking this question. You, my dear sir, have been taking exactly the wrong approach to the whole kissing thing.

Learn these Secrets for Real Success

Improve Your Dating Skills

In fact, if you have the right dating skills, you will never ask the question, "How do I get a girl to kiss me?" Instead, you will always be asking the question: "How and when am I going to kiss this girl?" If a girl is attracted to you, she is asking herself, "When is he going to kiss me?" In that situation, a girl wants to be kissed. A girl does not ask herself the question, "When am I going to kiss him?" Gentlemen, if you are waiting for a girl to kiss you, you are going to be waiting a long time. Girls want to be kissed but they don't want to make the first move.

Kissing is about confidence and it is the gauge all women use to measure a man's confidence. If you are trying to get a girl to kiss you, then you have zero confidence. You are afraid that if you try to kiss the girl, she will reject you. Guess what? Everyone has that fear about dating. Get over it.

Girls are just as confused about you as you are about them. We women get insecure, too. Sometimes we get anxious when you don't try to kiss us. As we're wondering why you're not trying to kiss us, we're also wondering if you think we're too fat, too ugly, too smelly, too short, etc. You name it, we're thinking it. Aside from being fun, kissing reassures us that you like us and that our feelings are reciprocated. If you don't kiss us, then we think you don't want to or that you're not attracted to us. Would you want somebody to tell you that you were ugly? So kiss the girl already. She wants you to kiss her because she wants to know that you like her. She wants a signal, and it's up to you to give it to her.

Basic Kissing Advice

Give yourself a maximum number of dates before you go in for a kiss.

Here are some basic tips about when to kiss a girl and when not to kiss a girl. I'm just tossing these in here as a bonus because this article is a little short, and I want you to get maximum value out of it. I also want to keep people from thinking they can do something to get girls to kiss them. So here are my tips:

Don't Wait Too Long

If you're in a dating situation, you should give yourself a maximum number of dates you will go on before you move in for a kiss, like three. Most women think that three is probably a bit long, but it's also not too long that we'll think you're weird either. The reason for the date maximum: who wants to waste that much time finding out if there's any chemistry there? And guess what, if that first date goes well, she'll want to be kissed. Too many guys think that if they wait to kiss a girl they're increasing their chances of success. It's exactly the opposite.

Make that First Kiss Short, Sweet, and Gentle

The key to the first kiss is to leave the girl wanting more. Make sense? That first kiss should not be about proving what a great kisser you are, or how long you can kiss, or how long your tongue is. It should be brief. No matter how nervous you are, try to make it seem like the most natural thing in the world. You can linger a bit, but don't overstay your welcome. A short, good kiss shows a woman that you know what you're doing and have confidence that she'll want more.

Don't Say Anything

The only reason you should open your mouth is to part your lips as you move in for the kiss. Absolutely, positively don't allow any words to come out of your mouth. And whatever you do, never ask a girl if you can kiss her. Just do it. You'll find out right away if she's going to let you.

Move Slowly

In reference to the point above, since you're not going to say anything, you need to move at a slow, predictable pace. She's not an escaped chicken you have to jump on. As you move in, the girl will know what's going on, but you've got to give her a chance to react. If you're going light speed because you're nervous or whatever, the girl might duck out of the way. Move too fast and you give the impression that you're lacking confidence.

What to Do When Kissing Goes Wrong

If the girl turns her head and gives you the cheek, she's not interested.

Men can be kind of dense sometimes, like we all can in these kinds of situations. Here are some worst-case scenarios in case something unthinkable happens. What to do if:

The Girl Gives You the Cheek - If a girl is attracted to a guy, she kisses him. If she's not, she doesn't. It's pretty simple. Yes, it's possible she's a prude, but then you've got an entirely different problem on your hands. Move on.
The Girl Gives You a Hug Instead - Same as above.
The Girl Dodges Your Kiss - Same as above. Are you getting the message yet? Don't waste time on her. The translation of the last three moves would be this if she were using words, "Hey, sorry guy, I'm not attracted to you and don't want you to waste your time, but I don't want to come out directly and say that and hurt your feelings."
The Girl Backs Away and Screams at the Top of Her Lungs - First of all, you might be a rapist or somebody wrote "murderer" with a sharpie on your forehead after you passed out at that party last night. Look, this should never happen to a guy in his lifetime, so if this happens, something has gone seriously wrong. Women don't scream for no reason, so you've just frightened one to a pretty high level. Clearly, whatever approach you have taken is about as far from working as humanly possible.

If she slaps you, she's both angry and unintimidated.

The Girl Slaps You - Not quite the same as above, but pretty close. The main difference is that in the previous scenario, the girl is probably scared of you and feels that you represent a larger threat than any slap is likely to prevent. In this scenario, the girl doesn't consider you a physical threat and feels a slap will solve her problem.
The Girl Throws Up on You - The good news here is that there was probably a millisecond or so where the girl thought she actually wanted to be kissed, but then an unconscious repulsion to you in her brain triggered a physical reaction and she now realizes that she's not attracted to you. Still, bonus points if you pulled away before she vomited.
The Girl Has a Seizure and Dies - Actually, of all of these, this one might not mean that she's not attracted to you because she probably had a pre-existing medical condition and was about to croak anyway. Don't feel bad. At least wait for the autopsy. And remember, don't run from the scene. After you're exonerated of responsibility, you should at least think up a cool nickname for yourself like "lady killer" or something.

Conclusion

So, you've asked the question: "How do I get a girl to kiss me?" and you've read this article. Do you know the answer? You better. However, here's a little secret I've left until the very end. You actually can get a girl to kiss you, but she's going to have to be your girlfriend or your wife first. Once the girl is your girlfriend or your wife, she'll kiss you a lot.

Questions & Answers

Question: My girlfriend is not having a good time with me. How can I get her to have fun with me?

Answer: How do you know she's not having fun with you? Usually, when two people stop having fun together, that's the beginning of the end. However, the best thing to do is ask her what she would like to do and try to do it. Are you doing things that are fun for you and not fun for her? Give it some thought.

Question: The girl that I am in love with is not quite as interested in me as I am in her. Is there still any way I can make her want to kiss me or any way I can tell if she ever will want to?

Answer: This is a great question. First, kudos to you for recognizing the inequality in your relationship. You're on the bottom, so to speak. Most guys, when faced with this situation, come on really strong, trying to push their attraction onto their woman as if force will do the trick. It needs to be the opposite. You need to be a challenge for this girl. You need to disengage and play a long game. You need to go after other women. You kind of need to assume that she's not coming around. She might come around and she might not, but at least you'll know. Trust me on this, there's nothing you can do to get this girl to come around OTHER than pulling back. You need to find out if she'll come to you.

DD5 on June 25, 2019:

What is this nonsense? Of course you can ask a girl if you can kiss her! Otherwise that may be assault. Consent much? Jeez! If she wants to kiss you, asking her first is not going to change her mind. Like seriously.

Sychophantastic (author) from Texas on August 30, 2016:

Big Bopper,

Thanks for asking the question. I'm afraid I don't have good news for you. You're in the friend zone and unlikely to ever get out. You can't wait a year to kiss a girl you like. You just can't. And most guys are shy. You're going to have to get over it by taking some chances and training yourself out of it.

That said, there is a way for you to get out of the friend zone and here it is: get another girlfriend. And if you can't or won't get another girlfriend, you're going to need to suggest to this girl that you have a girlfriend that's not her. Next time she calls, just say: "I've met somebody really great and I can't go out with you tonight, but let's hang out next week. You're one of my best friends and I don't want this new relationship to get in the way of us hanging out." You understand? You need to say those words exactly. And what's going to happen is that this girl is going to realize that you're getting away and she's going to have to make a move of some sort. You're going to have to keep this charade up for a little while. You're going to know it's working when you finally get together and she puts her hand on your knee or touches you in a way she hasn't before. And then, and only then, when your drink is done and you guys are leaving the bar, you're going to go in for the kiss. You're going to take her face gently in your hands and kiss her slowly and passionately and then you're going to back away, say nothing, and say, "See you soon."

The Big Bopper on August 29, 2016:

This will sound stupid, but I have to ask. I met her almost a year ago, and she knows full well that I'm extremely shy. However she is not in the least bit shy. Regardless of my shyness, she always calls, sometimes for no reason, and even though we didn't meet at a bar, we've got into the habit of going to a bar I used t hang out at together every Thursday. Even though it's been almost a year, I'm wondering if due to her knowing of my extreme shyness, could she perhaps be being more patient with me, and understand that my shyness is what's been preventing me from making the first move?

I now realize that asking if I may kiss her is not the right thing to do, but would saying something like "I'm going to kiss you" be just as bad?

I'm pretty sure she knows how fond of her I really am, but is it now too late to aim for that first kiss?

Any suggestions?

spekterscript on October 23, 2013:

Case in point. The first time I ever kissed a girl-she was older than me btw- I made the mistake of asking. She gave me an angry look and turned her face away. I wanted to kiss her so badly though I said F it and I gently pulled the back of her neck and kissed her anyway while she was still turned away. That was the only kiss I had to initiate that night. She couldn't stop initiating me after that.

ekundaryor on January 18, 2013:

At last i got to kiss my girlfriend without peeing in my pants today after reading this article tanx lol

Mary from Washington on February 20, 2012:

Very cool! Yep, if a woman turns her cheek to catch your kiss then she is none too interested. If she is into you she will not turn away from your smooth move. :)This was a funny Hub. I enjoyed reading it.

SanXuary on November 14, 2011:

Be a friend first and you can always test the kiss and see where it goes with no strings attached. If you can not get the right atmosphere wait for her birthday or new years.

samanthamsmith from Small Town USA on October 28, 2011:

Great Hub Sychophantastic.

Aceblogs from India on October 15, 2011:

Very interesting hub , from the start to the end , i was fully enthusiast to keep reading it :)

funmontrealgirl from Montreal on September 26, 2011:

That's funny. Your first few sentences were my immediate response to the title. Men do the kissing. But, good info all throughout. :)

TheExpertise on September 16, 2011:

lol.... i happened to be a pua but there's something you can learn from a pro

banjodman from Alabama on September 11, 2011:

Actually there is a way to get her to kiss you...just tell her Ashton is your friend and you have arraigned a date for her...that ought to do it.

Elena@LessIsHealthy on September 07, 2011:

Great hub, nice to meet you.

Sfh from Texas on September 06, 2011:

Well written with solid points. Written in a way to keep the readers attention. Two-thumbs up!

MG Singh from UAE on September 05, 2011:

Very well written and enjoyable too.

saif113sb on August 20, 2011:

Love and beautiful hub.

Sychophantastic (author) from Texas on August 19, 2011:

Thanks everyone! I aim to please.

rikabothra on August 19, 2011:

This is hillarious, i had a good laugh! lovely hub...i actually burst out laughing when i read some of the points! Voted up and funny!

Paradise7 from Upstate New York on August 19, 2011:

Very cool hub. It made me smile.

ThoughtSandwiches from Reno, Nevada on August 19, 2011:

lol...oh Sychophantastic...you are awesome! You are correct, a good clean autopsy report ALWAYS puts me back in the kissing mode. I enjoyed this very much! Voted Up, funny and awesome. Oh...and useful too!

What to Say to a Girl Before You Kiss Her

Source: https://pairedlife.com/physical-intimacy/How-do-you-get-a-girl-to-kiss-you

Clint Wormand